Oh. My. Goodness.
Being back on Effexor (even the extremely low dosage I'm on) is like slipping into your favorite PJ's, ordering in, and eating in front of the TV with good friends after a long long day of dealing with crazy people. Oh how I've missed being sane and happy.
At my prenatal checkup/ultrasound with one of my favorite doctors yesterday, we confirmed the sex of our baby (a girl!) and her health (YES!)and then discussed my increasing depression and anxiety. She suggested that I go back on the very low starter dose of Effexor because sometimes you just have to accept that you get stuck with the bad serotonin gene. She assured us that the risk is minimal and to be safe I would have to stop taking it two weeks before my due date. I took a dose today and can already notice the difference. I'm not trapped in my bed, worried about everything, crying and miserable. I'm not just hanging in there with an optimistic attitude, I'm ready to go!
I ordered my SI lock so that I don't have the excuse of pain keeping me from getting around. I ordered a maternity bathing suit (UGH! I'm so vain and those things are so ugly) and tonight, I'm going to go to the Y to sign up for water aerobic classes. I will be healthy! I will be happy! And most of all, I will be drugged!
I know that due dates are tricky things and that there may be no guarantee that I'll have time to stop taking Effexor before she's born and I know that this has a chance of making things difficult for her blood oxygen rate and that she may be irritable (much like her mother). I also have to weigh in the quality of life factor for myself and my family. I have become increasingly withdrawn and irritable and anxious since I have been weened off of my meds. Caring for myself wasn't exactly on my priority list, which means caring for my unborn child. Eating was a struggle, every decision was a struggle. How can that be healthy? So yes, right now, I'm making what may seem like a selfish decision to take meds so that I'll be happy (sane really). It's also going to make life easier on my husband and daughter. I'll no longer be the hermit in the bedroom, weeping and clinging. I'll be the fully functional mother, cooking, cleaning, and participating in life. I'll also be the one praying for the continued health of my unborn girl.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Catching up
So...I'm 22 weeks pregnant. SURPRISE! For all and sundry who know me well, it is. I've never made any secret of how much I dislike being pregnant and how dubious I feel about my parenting skills. This summer made me realize that parenting isn't just about me and my selfish need to be able to do what I want when I want to. I spent a week with my siblings, father and grandmother in my Aunt's house on Lake Champlain and truly came to realize how much I love and appreciate my sister and brother. I wish that I had more time with them. I also appreciate the bond that I have with them and know that that kind of bond can't be replicated or replaced. No one can sympathize with you about the foibles of your parents the way your siblings can. No one can keep you better grounded than someone who's changed your diapers and watched you grow. I realized that I wanted that for my daughter.
It took me seven years and bribery from my husband, but more than that, it took a week in a small house with my nearest and dearest to get up the courage to bring another person into the world. I hope I'm doing the right thing. It's not been easy so far. Sure, conception took all of 45 minutes, but since then it's been nothing but discomfort and pain for me. For the first three months, I did nothing but vomit and keel over. It made up for all the times I've watched my husband have stomach viruses and never caught them. I truly appreciate a good cold marble floor on a bathroom now. Soon after the vomiting ceased, random bones began to slip their alignment. First it was a rib (NOT at all pleasant) then the excitement slid down to my pelvic cradle, which I doubt will ever be the same. I can no longer walk for more than 10 minutes without excruciating pain. Sitting upright in normal chairs is right out as well. I miss the days when I could sit in my studio for hours and hours on end. Now, if it can't be done from a reclining position in bed, it rarely gets done.
Worst of all was the withdrawal from and consequent longing for Effexor. I Miss My Meds. The hormonal highs and lows really suck when you were never really level to begin with. I've always known that I was not the easiest person to get along with before I went on meds for my OCD and depression, I just forgot how difficult I am (especially to myself). I had three to four years of near normalcy to forget just how persnickety I am and how upset I can get when things aren't exactly as I think they should be. I am a cranky, short tempered, unpleasant beast. I can manage funny and charming for about an hour, then the veneer wears thin and I become irritated at the slightest things, which is only exacerbated by this hormone soup I'm swimming in. I know what it is, I see it as plain as the nose on my face, and yet, I can't seem to be able to control it. The best damage control I've been able to do is isolate myself from the few close friends I have before my behavior completely alienates them. It's hard, because I enjoy my friends most of the time, but I'm also crotchety and prone to brutally honest outbursts that are unpleasant at the least and offensive at the worst. I'm blessed to have a husband that understands, accepts, and is sometimes amused by my erratic behavior. Without his support and love, I definitely would not be able to do this.
I will never have another child, this is it for me. Neither my body nor my sanity can handle the stress of pregnancy. That's not to say I regret my decision. Every time this child bumps around inside me, I smile. I'm looking forward to meeting this little person who's using my pelvic cradle as a hammock and bladder as a pillow. I know it's going to be difficult, but I also am armed with the fact that I know what's going on this time around. I know I'm subject to postpartum depression and have spoken to my doctors about it, the drugs are on hold and ready, waiting. Short of any unforeseen disasters (which could happen) I'm golden. I've declined to even so much as crack the spine of the "What to Expect When You're Expecting", which I obsessed over the first time around and it scared the pants off of me. Sure, eating is a bit of an ordeal, what with being suddenly severely lactose intolerant and prone to vomiting beef product up, but that's temporary. My mantra is that this is only for a short while, and then I'll be fine once the baby is born. Tomorrow we have an ultrasound and determine the sex of the child and make sure all is progressing properly. I pray daily that despite my physical discomfort, this child will be born with a minimum of fuss and will be healthy and prone to all the normal childhood issues. Gas, colds, teething pains, the usual every day childhood issues. I pray that I've made the right decision and that my daughter will love and appreciate being a sister as much as I do. Really, I'll take a healthy kid, it's all I want. I can handle all the emotional woes and irritations that come with the parenting. I just want my children to be healthy.
It took me seven years and bribery from my husband, but more than that, it took a week in a small house with my nearest and dearest to get up the courage to bring another person into the world. I hope I'm doing the right thing. It's not been easy so far. Sure, conception took all of 45 minutes, but since then it's been nothing but discomfort and pain for me. For the first three months, I did nothing but vomit and keel over. It made up for all the times I've watched my husband have stomach viruses and never caught them. I truly appreciate a good cold marble floor on a bathroom now. Soon after the vomiting ceased, random bones began to slip their alignment. First it was a rib (NOT at all pleasant) then the excitement slid down to my pelvic cradle, which I doubt will ever be the same. I can no longer walk for more than 10 minutes without excruciating pain. Sitting upright in normal chairs is right out as well. I miss the days when I could sit in my studio for hours and hours on end. Now, if it can't be done from a reclining position in bed, it rarely gets done.
Worst of all was the withdrawal from and consequent longing for Effexor. I Miss My Meds. The hormonal highs and lows really suck when you were never really level to begin with. I've always known that I was not the easiest person to get along with before I went on meds for my OCD and depression, I just forgot how difficult I am (especially to myself). I had three to four years of near normalcy to forget just how persnickety I am and how upset I can get when things aren't exactly as I think they should be. I am a cranky, short tempered, unpleasant beast. I can manage funny and charming for about an hour, then the veneer wears thin and I become irritated at the slightest things, which is only exacerbated by this hormone soup I'm swimming in. I know what it is, I see it as plain as the nose on my face, and yet, I can't seem to be able to control it. The best damage control I've been able to do is isolate myself from the few close friends I have before my behavior completely alienates them. It's hard, because I enjoy my friends most of the time, but I'm also crotchety and prone to brutally honest outbursts that are unpleasant at the least and offensive at the worst. I'm blessed to have a husband that understands, accepts, and is sometimes amused by my erratic behavior. Without his support and love, I definitely would not be able to do this.
I will never have another child, this is it for me. Neither my body nor my sanity can handle the stress of pregnancy. That's not to say I regret my decision. Every time this child bumps around inside me, I smile. I'm looking forward to meeting this little person who's using my pelvic cradle as a hammock and bladder as a pillow. I know it's going to be difficult, but I also am armed with the fact that I know what's going on this time around. I know I'm subject to postpartum depression and have spoken to my doctors about it, the drugs are on hold and ready, waiting. Short of any unforeseen disasters (which could happen) I'm golden. I've declined to even so much as crack the spine of the "What to Expect When You're Expecting", which I obsessed over the first time around and it scared the pants off of me. Sure, eating is a bit of an ordeal, what with being suddenly severely lactose intolerant and prone to vomiting beef product up, but that's temporary. My mantra is that this is only for a short while, and then I'll be fine once the baby is born. Tomorrow we have an ultrasound and determine the sex of the child and make sure all is progressing properly. I pray daily that despite my physical discomfort, this child will be born with a minimum of fuss and will be healthy and prone to all the normal childhood issues. Gas, colds, teething pains, the usual every day childhood issues. I pray that I've made the right decision and that my daughter will love and appreciate being a sister as much as I do. Really, I'll take a healthy kid, it's all I want. I can handle all the emotional woes and irritations that come with the parenting. I just want my children to be healthy.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
PREGNANT!
I had forgotten what it was like to be pregnant. Actually I hadn't, I was just hoping it would be different. It's not. The only difference this time is that I'm not absolutely petrified. I'm trying to take the time to enjoy this pregnancy, but there's really not much to enjoy at this point. Mostly it's just being queasy when I'm not actually being ill. The worst part so far has been the withdrawal from Effexxor. Being that I have OCD, Anxiety issues and Depression, that's been my drug of choice for over 3 years to keep the madness at bay. I'd heard that the withdrawal alone could send you over the edge, but I had no idea. That combined with hormone induced random sobbing and vomiting makes this particular pregnant woman want to subject herself to a medically induced coma.
So I'm entering my 8th week, when the books and Dr.'s start saying it's ok to tell people your pregnant. I still feel nervous about it because...it's so early! Right now I'm walking around with something the approximate size of a Fava bean with a heartbeat just hanging out in my innards. We've had the first sonogram (which was so ridiculously exciting and humbling that of course I almost cried with joy...hell I'll cry at anything these days). So far the highlights of this pregnancy have been as follows:
8.15.09: Declare pride at not having vomited at all during pregnancy so far. Not 2 minutes later, I'm hanging my head over the toilet doing exactly that. That'll show me.
8.16.09: Still at it
8.17.09: Take Em to school for her Open House and nearly sob at finding her name on her class list, realizing that my first baby is in second grade. Find out what triggered the vomit fest. Plan on avoiding it like the plague.
8.18.09: First pregnant lady blog entry.
Goals for today:
Not vomit
Laundry
First Day of School Prep
Not Vomit.
So I'm entering my 8th week, when the books and Dr.'s start saying it's ok to tell people your pregnant. I still feel nervous about it because...it's so early! Right now I'm walking around with something the approximate size of a Fava bean with a heartbeat just hanging out in my innards. We've had the first sonogram (which was so ridiculously exciting and humbling that of course I almost cried with joy...hell I'll cry at anything these days). So far the highlights of this pregnancy have been as follows:
8.15.09: Declare pride at not having vomited at all during pregnancy so far. Not 2 minutes later, I'm hanging my head over the toilet doing exactly that. That'll show me.
8.16.09: Still at it
8.17.09: Take Em to school for her Open House and nearly sob at finding her name on her class list, realizing that my first baby is in second grade. Find out what triggered the vomit fest. Plan on avoiding it like the plague.
8.18.09: First pregnant lady blog entry.
Goals for today:
Not vomit
Laundry
First Day of School Prep
Not Vomit.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Prostate Cancer is No Joke...
Prostate Cancer is No Joke...
Originally uploaded by The Paper Doll
So, things have been hectic. A couple of months ago, my father-in-law was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Since then, a plan of action has been implemented and tomorrow is the surgery date. We're all a bit nervous and stressed but we'll be glad to have it over with. Of course it means a longish recovery for my FIL and more work for my MIL but I have faith that we'll get through this just fine.
We've all been coping by making jokes and drawing closer to one another. Justin has been calling every Sunday since he found out and he's planning on moving back to VA in August. I wish cancer wasn't what drew us closer but I'm glad for the closeness. Early tomorrow, Marshall, Emily and I will drive up to Reston VA to sit with Sandra through the procedure. She's planning on playing non-stop solitaire games while Emily and I work on her school work and Marshall helps.
Marshall hasn't shown many signs of stress except for the fact that he snapped at me at the reunion this past weekend. It was ugly and brief and I got scrapbooking adhesives as a makeup gift so all is well. I'm just ready to have this past us. I want so much for this surgery to be the end of the cancer battle, but I know better. All I can do is pray and be supportive and learn as much as I can so I can help as much as possible.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
It's OVER!
YAY! The yard sale is done! As of 4pm yesterday, I am officially done with the big merch warehouse and yard sale...for now. We're doing it again in October, but let's not dwell on the future! Now I can get back to stressing about centerpieces and fashion shows. Hooray!
Friday, April 3, 2009
When it rains...
WOW!
I have been massively busy for the past month and a half. It's all so very exciting. I have met new people, possibly made new friends, and really branched out. I know that this was a goal I set myself this year, but I had NO idea it would start happening this fast. "This fast? Sasha, it's April" you may say. For me, that's fast. I figured it'd take at least until Fall for me to establish friendships and find something to get me out of the house. I figured out the secret to making new friends...look amongst acquaintances of old. I'm the type of girl who simply barges forward to shake a worthy looking person's hand and suddenly latch on like a barnacle if they reciprocate one tenth of my interest. This has almost always ended in disaster. Ever since an unfortunate end to a unequal friendship a few years ago, I've become reclusive and wary of making friends. I'm still friendly, but I'm hesitant to let anyone in to my life. I know that this can't be healthy. A girl needs friends, and while my husband is my one true friend that's always there for me and knows me best, it's nice to be able to girl talk with other girls.
So I've managed to re-connect with someone who's also a married mom in the same situation I am, but she's far better connected and so much more organized. I've been helping her with a really cool yard sale to benefit a local music resource center for kids. Musictoday (www.musictoday.com) has been awesome in donating old merch that's no longer viable on the site. There's a HUGE warehouse of the stuff. For the past three weeks or so we've been sorting through the stuff and organizing it and boxing it up for transportation. It's been interesting and sometimes boring, as all repetitive tasks can be, but it's gotten me out of the house and made me feel useful. I've also had quite a lot of fun hanging out with B. The yard sale happens on Saturday and we'll be happy to see the tail end of that.
Immediately after the yard sale ends, I'll be diving into making centerpieces for a charity dinner that coincides with the fashion show I'm doing makeup for and the wedding the next day that I'm also doing makeup for.
I also got a really cool call yesterday from a really talented photographer. Check out her site at www.andreashirey.com . Her stuff is AMAZING. She's looking for a couple of makeup artists that she feels confident in working with for some projects. This is why I need to get my portfolio together. I kept the poor woman on the phone for an hour just yammering on. I need to be careful of that. I just get so excited!
So yeah, excitement abounds. Oh yeah, and then there's J, who is an amazing crafter that I try to get together with once a week. She's fantastic. I'm hoping a friendship grows out of that too. Ok, my laptop is running out of juice and I need to plug it in, I also need breakfast and I seriously need to do laundry. I'm off at breakneck speed!
I have been massively busy for the past month and a half. It's all so very exciting. I have met new people, possibly made new friends, and really branched out. I know that this was a goal I set myself this year, but I had NO idea it would start happening this fast. "This fast? Sasha, it's April" you may say. For me, that's fast. I figured it'd take at least until Fall for me to establish friendships and find something to get me out of the house. I figured out the secret to making new friends...look amongst acquaintances of old. I'm the type of girl who simply barges forward to shake a worthy looking person's hand and suddenly latch on like a barnacle if they reciprocate one tenth of my interest. This has almost always ended in disaster. Ever since an unfortunate end to a unequal friendship a few years ago, I've become reclusive and wary of making friends. I'm still friendly, but I'm hesitant to let anyone in to my life. I know that this can't be healthy. A girl needs friends, and while my husband is my one true friend that's always there for me and knows me best, it's nice to be able to girl talk with other girls.
So I've managed to re-connect with someone who's also a married mom in the same situation I am, but she's far better connected and so much more organized. I've been helping her with a really cool yard sale to benefit a local music resource center for kids. Musictoday (www.musictoday.com) has been awesome in donating old merch that's no longer viable on the site. There's a HUGE warehouse of the stuff. For the past three weeks or so we've been sorting through the stuff and organizing it and boxing it up for transportation. It's been interesting and sometimes boring, as all repetitive tasks can be, but it's gotten me out of the house and made me feel useful. I've also had quite a lot of fun hanging out with B. The yard sale happens on Saturday and we'll be happy to see the tail end of that.
Immediately after the yard sale ends, I'll be diving into making centerpieces for a charity dinner that coincides with the fashion show I'm doing makeup for and the wedding the next day that I'm also doing makeup for.
I also got a really cool call yesterday from a really talented photographer. Check out her site at www.andreashirey.com . Her stuff is AMAZING. She's looking for a couple of makeup artists that she feels confident in working with for some projects. This is why I need to get my portfolio together. I kept the poor woman on the phone for an hour just yammering on. I need to be careful of that. I just get so excited!
So yeah, excitement abounds. Oh yeah, and then there's J, who is an amazing crafter that I try to get together with once a week. She's fantastic. I'm hoping a friendship grows out of that too. Ok, my laptop is running out of juice and I need to plug it in, I also need breakfast and I seriously need to do laundry. I'm off at breakneck speed!
Monday, March 30, 2009
OMG!
Today, I fulfilled a high school fantasy of mine. I met Henry Rollins. Yes, the Henry Rollins of Black Flag. Yes, the Henry Rollins that does spoken word. Yes, that Henry Rollins, the one who did guest vocals on that Tool song, you know "I'm naked and fearless,and my fear is naked!". That Henry Rollins.
I'm sure I don't seem like a Henry Rollins fan, but I am. Why? Because he's funny, intelligent and HARD CORE about rock. Actually, he's one of the few people in the world whom I believe to just be plain old Hard Core. He happened to be at the same business establishment I was at and my husband and the receptionist were cool enough to get me to meet him. I've got a pic on my cellphone. As soon as I remember where the cable went that allows me to sync my phone with my laptop, it's SO getting uploaded onto my machine and posted absolutely every bloody where. I'm probably going to scrapbook about it too. I'm just that jazzed.
I was so excited to meet him, I actually kissed him on the cheek. Embarrassing but true. After that i managed to keep from totally geeking out. He talked to me for like, fifteen minutes. In all that time, did I manage to say anything cool? Probably not. Does it matter? Not really. Why? Because the guy has probably already forgotten about me. And you know what? I'm cool with that. I'm just happy I got to meet him.
Of course, in all my girlish daydreaming about meeting Mr. Rollins, I imagined myself well groomed, good smelling and intelligent. Instead I'd just come from the bat cave (my nickname for the warehouse attic where the sorting for the big charity yard-sale is happening), I was covered in dust and filth, smelled like a hot sweaty mess, hair all sticking up everywhere, no makeup and wearing flip-flops with my leather jacket. Um...HELLO?! Flip-Flops and a leather jacket? Really? I knew I was going to regret that decision when I left the house but I was too lazy to find a pair of socks and sit down long enough to get my sneakers on. Oh well. I still met Henry Rollins.
What an awesome day.
I'm sure I don't seem like a Henry Rollins fan, but I am. Why? Because he's funny, intelligent and HARD CORE about rock. Actually, he's one of the few people in the world whom I believe to just be plain old Hard Core. He happened to be at the same business establishment I was at and my husband and the receptionist were cool enough to get me to meet him. I've got a pic on my cellphone. As soon as I remember where the cable went that allows me to sync my phone with my laptop, it's SO getting uploaded onto my machine and posted absolutely every bloody where. I'm probably going to scrapbook about it too. I'm just that jazzed.
I was so excited to meet him, I actually kissed him on the cheek. Embarrassing but true. After that i managed to keep from totally geeking out. He talked to me for like, fifteen minutes. In all that time, did I manage to say anything cool? Probably not. Does it matter? Not really. Why? Because the guy has probably already forgotten about me. And you know what? I'm cool with that. I'm just happy I got to meet him.
Of course, in all my girlish daydreaming about meeting Mr. Rollins, I imagined myself well groomed, good smelling and intelligent. Instead I'd just come from the bat cave (my nickname for the warehouse attic where the sorting for the big charity yard-sale is happening), I was covered in dust and filth, smelled like a hot sweaty mess, hair all sticking up everywhere, no makeup and wearing flip-flops with my leather jacket. Um...HELLO?! Flip-Flops and a leather jacket? Really? I knew I was going to regret that decision when I left the house but I was too lazy to find a pair of socks and sit down long enough to get my sneakers on. Oh well. I still met Henry Rollins.
What an awesome day.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
In which someone tries to turn my home into a drive through.
Emergency crew gossips
Originally uploaded by The Paper Doll
So...we're sitting in the living room, all kinds of mellow, trying to get Em to bed when we hear a revving noise. Then there are a set of headlights glowing into the window to accompany the revving noise. Now when you live on a street with some car traffic this isn't toooo unusual. When the revving and headlights are coming from the direction of your side yard, the one that doesn't have a street associated with it...that can't be good.
M called 911, I got the kid settled and then went out to see what was up, what with having had minor EMT training in HS. When I got there she was seizing. I did what I knew to do. The crew got there quickly and stabilized her, the wrecking crew was there shortly after to remove the car. I hope she's ok.
Our stone wall is cracked a bit but really, I'll take a cracked stone wall over no living room wall any day.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
In which the bodily functions of my cat are discussed (Disgusted)
Daniel is a stinky boy. A really really really stinky boy. Even the vet says so. So now, in my home, reside 1 really smelly kid with bowel issues, 1 really smelly dog with no bowel issues but gas that curdles the nose hairs, and 1 horribly smelly cat with bowel issues. I don't think they make candles, sprays, or air fresheners strong enough for what I'm up against. Perhaps I should call in an exorcist.
M and I were sitting quietly, watching TV when he suddenly winced and complained of a terrible stench. I just looked at him and simply said "Oh, Daniel must be down here" and sure enough...he had just walked out of the kitchen. M is still laughing. I'm not sure how he can laugh with a cloud of horror floating in the air, but he did and he is. Tomorrow I get the meds from the Vet to start Daniel on. He's going for another bowel test this week. I don't envy them. Nor do I grudge them the money to do it. It beats having to do it myself.
Someone please pray that I make it through the next month without being disgusted into vomiting by the emissions coming from my loved ones.
-S
M and I were sitting quietly, watching TV when he suddenly winced and complained of a terrible stench. I just looked at him and simply said "Oh, Daniel must be down here" and sure enough...he had just walked out of the kitchen. M is still laughing. I'm not sure how he can laugh with a cloud of horror floating in the air, but he did and he is. Tomorrow I get the meds from the Vet to start Daniel on. He's going for another bowel test this week. I don't envy them. Nor do I grudge them the money to do it. It beats having to do it myself.
Someone please pray that I make it through the next month without being disgusted into vomiting by the emissions coming from my loved ones.
-S
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
In which Daniel is settled and I visit the dentist
He's officially settled. He is now happily spazzing around the house, eating, sleeping, chatting and all the other things happy cats do. He doesn't hide under the beds as much as he did. I took the time to finally read his medical records (very slim pickings indeed) and discovered that he's 1.5 years old. He's small and slim and probably won't grow any larger than he is now. I'm sure if he's anything like Molly he will grow a bit wider. M has taken to calling him the "poop monster" because he has some seriously loose bowels. I spoke with his foster parents and they said that he's always been like that. Tomorrow he'll be going to the vet for his booster shots so I'll talk to them about it.I went to the dentist today and you know what? It wasn't half bad. I have really bad teeth. I think I had a total of five cavities, they filled two today. Usually I'm the most anxious patient you've ever met, but these guys use Nitrous to gas...erm I mean sedate you so that you're not wigging out. That stuff ROCKS. I can see how people wind up being addicted to it. It was like a vacation from all my racing thoughts. Everything sloooooowed down. I was capable of processing one coherent thought per every 30 seconds. I just chilled and drowsed and let the dentist do his thing. The funniest part was that there was music playing, but I could never identify what it was. I was playing this guessing game with myself and then I'd ask the dental assistant what was playing, she'd tell me, and it wouldn't be ANYTHING like what I thought it was. For me, this is unheard of. M likes to play "Stump Sasha" by trying to find songs that he thinks I won't be able to recognize and he considers it a success if it takes me over 30 seconds to identify something. I giggled quite a lot.
Anyway, now that the anesthetic is wearing off, I'm in a bit of pain so I'm going to find some ibuprofen and stare at the walls some. Ta!
-S
Sunday, February 8, 2009
In which Daniel starts to settle in...
Daniel had a rough night last night. I don't think either of us slept very much. At one point Marshall had to come retrieve me from the bathroom. I had brought a pillow, snuggie and book into the bathtub and was determined to stay in there until either Daniel came out or the morning, whichever came first. After Marshall made me get in bed I cant' say I slept very well. I think I woke up five times to check on Daniel. He stayed put under that shelving unit until morning.
After a big internal debate I decided to go to bible study with Emily and not stare obsessively at Daniel for the entire morning. While I was getting ready Tom (Daniel's foster father) called to offer to come out and get Daniel settled. He figured a familiar voice and face would ease his transfer better. We agreed on a time and off I went to bible study. I usually reserve my prayer requests for what I deem important stuff, but I actually asked that everyone pray that Daniel's transition to our home be eased and that he settle in. I kinda felt like a dork when everyone was asking for prayers for people with cancer and job losses, but prayer works. I needed all the help I could get with Daniel.
Once Tom and his wife Barbara got here, everything went swimmingly! All he did was stick his head down where Daniel could see him and talk to him for a few moments, then he stuck his arm under there and Daniel scooted right out. Meanwhile I had tried for a half hour earlier to get him out of there and it was like pulling teeth. We spent an hour walking around the house with Daniel as he sniffed and poked and explored and chatted. T&B liked the house, which really put me at ease. I would have been devastated if they'd decided that this house was all wrong for him. At one point Daniel and Molly met and happily, the fur did not fly. Molly kind of jumped away a little and then spent the rest of the time trying to smell Daniel's rear end. Daniel wasn't thrilled, but he was very tolerant of the entire thing.
While he was investigating my room he found the full length mirror and nearly jumped out of his fur. Apparently he'd never seen himself before. His tail got HUGE! He looked like a squirrel. It was pretty funny. After we pried him away from the mirror he investigated the rest of the house and found it to his liking. After dropping off two of his old beds from his old house (how sweet is that?) T&B went home with many well wishes and thanks. Daniel spent the rest of the day investigating, chatting and finding new places to hide. Emily and I played the "Find Daniel's New Hiding Place" game a few times and every time he was somewhere else. Marshall played with him while he was under our bed, Emily crawled under the guest bed and played with him for a bit and I managed to coax him onto our bed for some tummy rubbing time. I even managed to get him to eat! I really hope this means that Daniel is coming to relax and enjoy his new home. I know it'll take him a few more weeks to really settle in, but this is a really good sign.
More news tomorrow!
-S
After a big internal debate I decided to go to bible study with Emily and not stare obsessively at Daniel for the entire morning. While I was getting ready Tom (Daniel's foster father) called to offer to come out and get Daniel settled. He figured a familiar voice and face would ease his transfer better. We agreed on a time and off I went to bible study. I usually reserve my prayer requests for what I deem important stuff, but I actually asked that everyone pray that Daniel's transition to our home be eased and that he settle in. I kinda felt like a dork when everyone was asking for prayers for people with cancer and job losses, but prayer works. I needed all the help I could get with Daniel.
Once Tom and his wife Barbara got here, everything went swimmingly! All he did was stick his head down where Daniel could see him and talk to him for a few moments, then he stuck his arm under there and Daniel scooted right out. Meanwhile I had tried for a half hour earlier to get him out of there and it was like pulling teeth. We spent an hour walking around the house with Daniel as he sniffed and poked and explored and chatted. T&B liked the house, which really put me at ease. I would have been devastated if they'd decided that this house was all wrong for him. At one point Daniel and Molly met and happily, the fur did not fly. Molly kind of jumped away a little and then spent the rest of the time trying to smell Daniel's rear end. Daniel wasn't thrilled, but he was very tolerant of the entire thing.
While he was investigating my room he found the full length mirror and nearly jumped out of his fur. Apparently he'd never seen himself before. His tail got HUGE! He looked like a squirrel. It was pretty funny. After we pried him away from the mirror he investigated the rest of the house and found it to his liking. After dropping off two of his old beds from his old house (how sweet is that?) T&B went home with many well wishes and thanks. Daniel spent the rest of the day investigating, chatting and finding new places to hide. Emily and I played the "Find Daniel's New Hiding Place" game a few times and every time he was somewhere else. Marshall played with him while he was under our bed, Emily crawled under the guest bed and played with him for a bit and I managed to coax him onto our bed for some tummy rubbing time. I even managed to get him to eat! I really hope this means that Daniel is coming to relax and enjoy his new home. I know it'll take him a few more weeks to really settle in, but this is a really good sign.
More news tomorrow!
-S
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Bringing Daniel Home
Today we brought Daniel home. Within minutes of bringing him home he hid under the bathtub. The bathroom is supposed to be his safe room. It's got litter, food, water, a door to close, a couple of hidey spots, and quiet. He hasn't come out from under the tub since he scurried under there.
I'm very worried. I hope we can make him feel safe enough to come out one day. I finally had to close the door and ban the room's use after the kid, hubby and dog had all gone in there to harass the poor blighter. Molly ate his food (twice), Emily poked him, and Marshall dragged him out to try and sit him in his lap. After treatment like that I wouldn't be surprised if he never came out. Poor guy.
I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.
-S
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Weeeee!
It's the end of the day and I'm feeling much better than yesterday. I've been about as productive as a glacier post global warming. I'm gearing up for Mondays with G. We're supposed to be making Valentines. *sigh* She's so destructive with craft supplies. I worry. She mixes stamp colors without wiping the stamps first! WAUGH! She's also a messy embosser. I dunno. I hope I can handle it. Today I began separating different papers to put a kit together. Perhaps I can minimize the damage by making template cards for her to pick from. It's all about the prepackaging. That's my mantra. For now anyway.
I joined a group of crafty entrepreneur women online called Make Mine Pink . They've been so incredibly welcoming! I really want to set myself up for success this time around with Clutter so I'm hoping that by joining a forum and really doing research I'll be able to push myself. We'll see. My tentative date for launch is March 1st. We shall see how that goes.
Things I did today:
Got most of my scrap paper drawer organized (pattern, color, size)
Did my nails (fingers and toes!)
Tidied up the living room
Hung out with the Jehova's Witnesses and remembered some great scriptures
Stared at the walls in my studio
Avoided the laundry
Helped E with homework
Let E read to me and helped with the big words
Actually remembered to get her into the tub early
Gathered up the downstairs trash into one big bag and kicked it out for collection
Couldn't re-lock the side door after
Told the hubby about it and gave up
What I'd like to get done tomorrow:
Groceries
Dinner
Finish organizing the scrap paper drawer
Put away all the cute little paper components I found in the drawer
Finish putting a Valentine making kit together
Be nice
Smile alot
Make my husband laugh
Change the sheets
Remember all the stuff I write down as to do
I joined a group of crafty entrepreneur women online called Make Mine Pink . They've been so incredibly welcoming! I really want to set myself up for success this time around with Clutter so I'm hoping that by joining a forum and really doing research I'll be able to push myself. We'll see. My tentative date for launch is March 1st. We shall see how that goes.
Things I did today:
Got most of my scrap paper drawer organized (pattern, color, size)
Did my nails (fingers and toes!)
Tidied up the living room
Hung out with the Jehova's Witnesses and remembered some great scriptures
Stared at the walls in my studio
Avoided the laundry
Helped E with homework
Let E read to me and helped with the big words
Actually remembered to get her into the tub early
Gathered up the downstairs trash into one big bag and kicked it out for collection
Couldn't re-lock the side door after
Told the hubby about it and gave up
What I'd like to get done tomorrow:
Groceries
Dinner
Finish organizing the scrap paper drawer
Put away all the cute little paper components I found in the drawer
Finish putting a Valentine making kit together
Be nice
Smile alot
Make my husband laugh
Change the sheets
Remember all the stuff I write down as to do
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
blah
ugh, yet again I missed ordering my script for my meds so I was off a couple of days. If ever I think I could be med free I should just remember the days without. I'm an anxious, depressed, miserable basket case. Lets not forget the nightmares, night sweats, and upset stomach that accompanies withdrawal.
I was doing so well too. I was making stuff, or at least finishing stuff. I found a whole bunch of soldering supplies around the house (and when I say around the house I really mean around the house...no, that was not the punchline for an old joke). I found two soldering irons and some solder in Marshall's office, a brick paver outside in the yard, a brush for flux in my studio, the propane torch in the basement along with a ceramic tile and more solder. Why the hunt for soldering stuff you ask? Because of this amazingly creative woman's book Semiprecious Salvage . WOW. I first saw this book at B&N on one of my Mondays with Grace and drooled over it, but then left it behind because it would mean starting new projects (remember, I'm supposed to be finishing WIPs, not starting them) and buying new tools. For three weeks I thought about that book. I finally caved in and purchased it this past weekend. The good news is I need not purchase any new tools (well, other than a butane torch, which my FIL might have, along with metal stamps, wood blocks and some other stuff I can solder together) all I need to do is learn to solder. Easier said than done.
Things I learned yesterday:
Flux does not go in the eyes
Soldering is harder than it looks
Soldering irons are VERY hot
Solder melts very quickly
Solder cools very quickly
Solder is messy
Solder does not stick to glass
Flux tastes bad
Snacking while soldering is bad
Things I got done recently:
Finished the Vintagey quilt top
Made a quilt sandwich
Quilted the sandwich
Stared at the ceiling
Went a little daft
Played with solder
Drove to Richmond and back
Ate a really good bread pudding
Cleaned up after myself
Made the best mashers evar!
Stared at the ceiling some more
Salted and sanded the walkway
Enjoyed a lovely dinner amongst adult friends
Didn't cry when E's school closed for two days in a row
Went to dentist without having to be tricked into it or sedated
Things to do:
Laundry (surprise)
Bind vintagey quilt
Throw away yucky cupcakes (remember the inauguration party? Yeah, those cupcakes)
Take vitamins
Coax E to put away her laundry
Put away my laundry
Stop sulking
I was doing so well too. I was making stuff, or at least finishing stuff. I found a whole bunch of soldering supplies around the house (and when I say around the house I really mean around the house...no, that was not the punchline for an old joke). I found two soldering irons and some solder in Marshall's office, a brick paver outside in the yard, a brush for flux in my studio, the propane torch in the basement along with a ceramic tile and more solder. Why the hunt for soldering stuff you ask? Because of this amazingly creative woman's book Semiprecious Salvage . WOW. I first saw this book at B&N on one of my Mondays with Grace and drooled over it, but then left it behind because it would mean starting new projects (remember, I'm supposed to be finishing WIPs, not starting them) and buying new tools. For three weeks I thought about that book. I finally caved in and purchased it this past weekend. The good news is I need not purchase any new tools (well, other than a butane torch, which my FIL might have, along with metal stamps, wood blocks and some other stuff I can solder together) all I need to do is learn to solder. Easier said than done.
Things I learned yesterday:
Flux does not go in the eyes
Soldering is harder than it looks
Soldering irons are VERY hot
Solder melts very quickly
Solder cools very quickly
Solder is messy
Solder does not stick to glass
Flux tastes bad
Snacking while soldering is bad
Things I got done recently:
Finished the Vintagey quilt top
Made a quilt sandwich
Quilted the sandwich
Stared at the ceiling
Went a little daft
Played with solder
Drove to Richmond and back
Ate a really good bread pudding
Cleaned up after myself
Made the best mashers evar!
Stared at the ceiling some more
Salted and sanded the walkway
Enjoyed a lovely dinner amongst adult friends
Didn't cry when E's school closed for two days in a row
Went to dentist without having to be tricked into it or sedated
Things to do:
Laundry (surprise)
Bind vintagey quilt
Throw away yucky cupcakes (remember the inauguration party? Yeah, those cupcakes)
Take vitamins
Coax E to put away her laundry
Put away my laundry
Stop sulking
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Adoption Caturday
Lil B
Originally uploaded by The Paper Doll
I got to spend 3 hours playing with cats today at the Stuart's Draft SPCA. I've been hunting for a cat ever since Marshall said I could have one a month ago. I've wanted to have a cat for as long as I can remember. I firmly believe that no house is complete without a cat to guard it from small furry pestilence. Or just be spastic. Cats are good for a random spaz. So after lots of interviews with random cats at various adoption agencies (I want to adopt, not buy) and I think I've finally found the one. He's funny and slightly skittish, but playful and not aggressive towards kids.
I tested this by asking my daughter's kindergarten teacher to loan me her three kids. Lucky for me she just happened to be there. They're pretty loud and playful. All Lil B did was scoot behind something and then peek out. As soon as the kids started playing with the cat toys, he came right out and played with them. The next test is to have Marshall come out and meet the kitty. If he doesn't start sneezing like a lunatic and breaking out in hives, it's a go. I find out on Tuesday.
In other news, the WIP list has grown to 40 projects with two done. So it's 38 WIPS and one underway. I started on one of the projects and realized that it had been so long since I'd worked on it that I'd lost the directions and had no idea what I was doing, so I scrapped it. I wish more crafters would write about their failures. I feel like I'm the only one that screws the occasional project up so much that it has to be tossed into the trash. It's a little discouraging. I've discovered that my forte lies in paper and embroidery. I stink at quilting and garment sewing. My work is sloppy because I cut like an epileptic suffering a seizure. I think it's because I rush through. That's something I need to work on. Also, I don't have the best work area. I no longer have the huge dining room table that I used to use as a cutting table. These are things I'm going to have to work on.
Things I've gotten done recently:
Made cupcakes from scratch
Made Mac N Cheese from scratch
Threw a party
Cleaned up after the party
Sorted the laundry
2 loads of laundry
Went out with adults
Went looking for a cat
Started working on the vintage quilt WIP (it's ready to bind)
Cleaned and organized my sticker drawer.
Things I'd like to do this week:
Finish loading up truck to take it to the dump
Clean kitchen
Finish laundry
Finish quilt WIP
Start USMC scrapbook
Work on January Sampler
Call in my scrip
Adopt a cat.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
It's the Semi-Anual clean up and Purge
It's the Semi-Anual clean up and Purge
Originally uploaded by The Paper Doll
Now that the house is clean, all I need to do is laundry. I thought I'd get caught up on my WIP list. I also thought I'd play with my camera. As I was digging around and looking at things I realized that my beads and jewelry making stuff was in terrible disarray. So I piddled around and tidied that up and discovered that I was in need of some standard supplies. I'm out of chain, clasps, o and jump rings and containers.
I also put away the flower mess I made when I put that garland together. Other than that I've been sitting on my tush and staring at the walls. It's been rather nice. I'm sure I've got some other stuff to clean and organize. I shouldn't despair that there's not going to be anything to clean.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Finito!
Giving new meaning to the phrase junk drawer
Originally uploaded by The Paper Doll
Yay! I finished two somethings today. I finished that junk drawer thingy AND the InaugYouRock garland. Why no pic of the garland you ask? Because I'm tired and lazy and it's 11:30pm and I want to go to bed. That's why. Plus, it's not all that great. I'm beginning to realize that I'm not such a great artist. I wasn't all that impressed with my garland. The things that I'd glued glitter to had already begun to shed and look a bit mangy. Did I use the wrong glue? Not enough? Have I lost my glittery touch? I also ran out of inspiration for the individual letters. I'm sure that given more time I would have come up with something, but the party is in less than 2 days so...yeah. What you see (or don't see in this case) is what you get. Maybe I'll take a pic at some point during the party. Whew, it's been a long day. I forgot to take my meds yesterday so I'm all woozy headed and irritable. It's like having some kind of psychotic hangover.
I always have the most vivid and odd dreams on the nights when I haven't taken my meds. Last night I was dreaming about Heaven and Hell. My version of heaven has my kid, massive amounts of green, rocky islands and beautiful blue oceans for me to fly over, and very friendly oceanic animals. My version of hell is a bunch of trendy night clubs with lots of people, bad music, and the people have very shallow and judgmental attitudes, not to mention the fact that everyone's trying to get laid. *shudder*
I also dreamt that God is a circle and that Geometry is a sacred math. Just the act of doing geometry was worship. It was nuts. I'm a lucid dreamer and I'm very surprised that I didn't wake myself up in tears. If geometry is sacred...I'm in terrible shape spiritually. I failed it twice in HS. The cool thing about being a lucid dreamer is that I can change things when I choose to in my dreams and that I also fly in almost all my dreams because it's my preferred method of travel.
Enough of the dream talk and onto the actual act of dreaming. I'm so ready for bed.
What I got done today:
Slept til 11
Finished the dresser (for now)
Finished the garland
Made tons of paper punch outs to make more paper flowers with
Got into a deep discussion with M about children and us having them
Hid in my studio most of the day
Updated my calendar
Was a royal pain in the arse to deal with
What' I'd like to do tomorrow:
Groceries
Hang with G
Not get irritated with E
Not worry about M's job (it seems like the head people really want to keep him)
Make cupcakes
Friday, January 16, 2009
Taking a deep breath...
and letting it out on a prayer.
So it's official. M was forced to lay off his entire development team at work. He's also been informed that he has five months to find a new job. I have to say, that's so much better than just getting the boot, but it's still scary. Things are not pretty right now with the economy, that's certainly obvious. It just hadn't hit home for me until this. I'm petrified that this will become a rerun of the episode 5 years back when M lost his job and was unemployed for 6 months. It was the worst time of my adult life. Back then though, we didn't have a five month warning. I'm still skittish though. We've now made plans to immediately start cost cutting. No extra movie channels, no more comic book subscription, cell phone plan gets cut down to basics, as does the interwebs provider. It's been nice being spoiled, but to be honest, it was starting to take a toll on me. I'm not comfortable with being comfortable. Does that make sense? I'm so used to having to struggle for things, it's how I spent the majority of my childhood and part of my teen years. I'm ok with struggling, it gives you something to strive for.
What I'm not ok with is not being able to supply my daughter with the basics. That is truly my greatest fear. I don't want to rely on my family, because my family is self employed, as is M's family. They're being hit just as hard as, if not harder than, everyone else. I'm not afraid to go back to work, I know I can make it happen somehow. I kind of miss temping, but what I've noticed is that I spend less money by staying at home. I thought it was some kind of cliche or something that SAHM's told themselves to feel better about not working (yes, I know that sounds horrible). It's true though. I don't need to worry about proffessional clothing because my profession needs nothing more than jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie...shoes optional. Sometimes I can wing it in my PJs. I don't have to worry about packing or buying a lunch...I've got my fridge. I don't have to worry about gas money...I barely go anywhere. It's been...nice. I don't rush, I just do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.
And the best part of it all has been E. She has bloomed. She's less whiney, she gets her homework done, and if this is even possible, she's happier. She likes me being home and I'm growing to like being here for her. I thought I'd go insane, but it turns out I was already there. Now I'm just growing saner. I don't want to have to give that up. Sure I bust my butt cleaning the house, cooking, doing laundry and all that other stuff I used to just let fall to the wayside due to time constraint. But I'm proud of my home. It gets better and better looking every week. I've been able to do things that have been languishing for months. I've seen the bottom of the clothing hamper more often in the past month than I had in six months of when I was working. It's wonderful.
In order to keep my mind from running itself down into frantic circles over M's work situation, I've been making things and cleaning. Keeping busy really is the best way to get through the worst situations. Not only are you destracted, allowing some small part of your mind to resolve and think without constant interruptions and overthought, you also get things accomplished. That sense of accomplishment really helps when faced with a large situation in your life that you really have no effect on.
Oh and lest this entry sound like a SAHM's glowing self congratulation...I forgot that there was no school today. We stood outside waiting for the bus in 10 degree weather for 5 minutes before I decided that we must have missed it due to the lack of fellow bus waiters. So I drove E to school...only to read on the announcement board that school was out. Genius!
Things I've done today:
Took the old mattresses to the dump.
Cleaned the fridge out
Started the scary dishes
Took E. to DD for donuts
Picked up basic groceries
Made a payment on the truck repairs
Made M laugh on one of the worst days of his career
Uploaded stuff to Flickr
Compiled things from the basement and put them on the porch to take to the dump
Took extra bed frames up to the attic
Didn't cry
Kept my cool
Didn't panic
Kept my faith that God will provide
Things I'd like to do tomorrow:
Groceries
Second run to dump
Make dinner
Make M laugh
Watch a movie with the family
Not Panic
Keep my faith that God will provide
Not cry
Keep my cool
Update my calendar
Talk to G
Work on garland
A special thanks to Pete for being there. Thanks! I needed that.
So it's official. M was forced to lay off his entire development team at work. He's also been informed that he has five months to find a new job. I have to say, that's so much better than just getting the boot, but it's still scary. Things are not pretty right now with the economy, that's certainly obvious. It just hadn't hit home for me until this. I'm petrified that this will become a rerun of the episode 5 years back when M lost his job and was unemployed for 6 months. It was the worst time of my adult life. Back then though, we didn't have a five month warning. I'm still skittish though. We've now made plans to immediately start cost cutting. No extra movie channels, no more comic book subscription, cell phone plan gets cut down to basics, as does the interwebs provider. It's been nice being spoiled, but to be honest, it was starting to take a toll on me. I'm not comfortable with being comfortable. Does that make sense? I'm so used to having to struggle for things, it's how I spent the majority of my childhood and part of my teen years. I'm ok with struggling, it gives you something to strive for.
What I'm not ok with is not being able to supply my daughter with the basics. That is truly my greatest fear. I don't want to rely on my family, because my family is self employed, as is M's family. They're being hit just as hard as, if not harder than, everyone else. I'm not afraid to go back to work, I know I can make it happen somehow. I kind of miss temping, but what I've noticed is that I spend less money by staying at home. I thought it was some kind of cliche or something that SAHM's told themselves to feel better about not working (yes, I know that sounds horrible). It's true though. I don't need to worry about proffessional clothing because my profession needs nothing more than jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie...shoes optional. Sometimes I can wing it in my PJs. I don't have to worry about packing or buying a lunch...I've got my fridge. I don't have to worry about gas money...I barely go anywhere. It's been...nice. I don't rush, I just do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.
And the best part of it all has been E. She has bloomed. She's less whiney, she gets her homework done, and if this is even possible, she's happier. She likes me being home and I'm growing to like being here for her. I thought I'd go insane, but it turns out I was already there. Now I'm just growing saner. I don't want to have to give that up. Sure I bust my butt cleaning the house, cooking, doing laundry and all that other stuff I used to just let fall to the wayside due to time constraint. But I'm proud of my home. It gets better and better looking every week. I've been able to do things that have been languishing for months. I've seen the bottom of the clothing hamper more often in the past month than I had in six months of when I was working. It's wonderful.
In order to keep my mind from running itself down into frantic circles over M's work situation, I've been making things and cleaning. Keeping busy really is the best way to get through the worst situations. Not only are you destracted, allowing some small part of your mind to resolve and think without constant interruptions and overthought, you also get things accomplished. That sense of accomplishment really helps when faced with a large situation in your life that you really have no effect on.
Oh and lest this entry sound like a SAHM's glowing self congratulation...I forgot that there was no school today. We stood outside waiting for the bus in 10 degree weather for 5 minutes before I decided that we must have missed it due to the lack of fellow bus waiters. So I drove E to school...only to read on the announcement board that school was out. Genius!
Things I've done today:
Took the old mattresses to the dump.
Cleaned the fridge out
Started the scary dishes
Took E. to DD for donuts
Picked up basic groceries
Made a payment on the truck repairs
Made M laugh on one of the worst days of his career
Uploaded stuff to Flickr
Compiled things from the basement and put them on the porch to take to the dump
Took extra bed frames up to the attic
Didn't cry
Kept my cool
Didn't panic
Kept my faith that God will provide
Things I'd like to do tomorrow:
Groceries
Second run to dump
Make dinner
Make M laugh
Watch a movie with the family
Not Panic
Keep my faith that God will provide
Not cry
Keep my cool
Update my calendar
Talk to G
Work on garland
A special thanks to Pete for being there. Thanks! I needed that.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Worried
Had a pretty productive day today, until about 5 when I had some kind of sensory overload. I'd been working on the banner for the InaugYouRock party and I think I overwhelmed myself with patterns and colors. Lucky for me I'd already helped Em with her homework and gotten her into and out of the tub, fed and settled in with her gamecube (Animal Crossing has so totally turned her into a super reader) when I decided to have my little episode. Turns out it may have been pre-emptive.
I wish I could talk about what's got my feathers ruffled but unfortunately the dust hasn't settled enough for me to really describe the situation accurately. It's enough to know that I'm cancelling all home renovation projects until further notice.
What I got done today:
Slept in
Three loads of laundry
Got dressed
Remembered to eat
Got the banner more than half way done
Had a minor panic attack
Went to bed early
Avoided the Jehova's Witness
To Do Tomorrow:
Pray
Clean the downstairs bathroom
Vacuum upstairs
Pray
I wish I could talk about what's got my feathers ruffled but unfortunately the dust hasn't settled enough for me to really describe the situation accurately. It's enough to know that I'm cancelling all home renovation projects until further notice.
What I got done today:
Slept in
Three loads of laundry
Got dressed
Remembered to eat
Got the banner more than half way done
Had a minor panic attack
Went to bed early
Avoided the Jehova's Witness
To Do Tomorrow:
Pray
Clean the downstairs bathroom
Vacuum upstairs
Pray
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Happiness
Is having a calm day. Emily and I got along splendidly today. Neither of us irritated the other, and that's pretty big news around here. I am getting really excited about the InaugYouRock party. After talking to G on the phone today I realized that I'm super excited about throwing a party. Sure it's on a Tuesday night, and I don't really expect a million people to show up. You don't need a million people to have a good party. A few people with a good attitude, some good food, and a common interest is really all you need for a good party. Booze doesn't hurt either. Well, sometimes it does, but there won't be enough booze for that to happen. Milk punch and hot toddies will be the drinks of the day. Comfort foods, it's all about the comfort foods. Sooo, Mashers, Pot Roast, cheese, crackers and apples and Colten's supersized junk food cakes. That should do it for the menu. My head is swimming with party prep thoughts. If I can pull this off, I'm going to pat myself on the back. Marshall has also asked me to help organize the belated office holiday party. He's thinking Potluck. I frikkin LOVE potluck parties. I figure if we just make a cool table presentation and I can make a cupcake tower, everything else will fall into place. Well that and I make a sign up sheet and stuff. I'll worry about it after InaugYouRock.
I love parties!
Things I did today:
Thanked Marshall for doing the dishes
Took down the Christmas tree
Didn't iron
Gave up on the chandelier, it was a bigger project than I anticipated
Didn't load the truck up for the dump, will do it this weekend
Worked on the January X-stitch sampler (dude, that thing is SO lopsided)
Helped E with her homework
Remembered to update the calendar
Forgot to ask if I could go to PA with G to a rock show
Got dressed
Watched 2 episodes of Lost with M (so love that show)
Things I'd like to do tomorrow:
Sleep in
Take a shower
Work on the garland for the party
Avoid the Jehova's Witness
Clean the downstairs bathroom
Be happy
G'night Ya'll
Oh and Pete? Keep your chin up kid, you're loved.
-S
I love parties!
Things I did today:
Thanked Marshall for doing the dishes
Took down the Christmas tree
Didn't iron
Gave up on the chandelier, it was a bigger project than I anticipated
Didn't load the truck up for the dump, will do it this weekend
Worked on the January X-stitch sampler (dude, that thing is SO lopsided)
Helped E with her homework
Remembered to update the calendar
Forgot to ask if I could go to PA with G to a rock show
Got dressed
Watched 2 episodes of Lost with M (so love that show)
Things I'd like to do tomorrow:
Sleep in
Take a shower
Work on the garland for the party
Avoid the Jehova's Witness
Clean the downstairs bathroom
Be happy
G'night Ya'll
Oh and Pete? Keep your chin up kid, you're loved.
-S
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Wore myself out already
Today I cleaned the study. No small feat that. I battled the stacks of comic books, found my child's secret stash of old used spoons and trash, vacuumed, dusted, and shoved all of Marshall's visible unused tech crap in the general area it belonged. I also created a fun place for Em to draw and she immediately used it. Hurrah!
Now I'm feeling antsy for reasons I don't understand. Could be because I exposed myself to massive amounts of Spray Mount and Spray Paint while trying to figure out how to make an origami chandelier with stuff I already have. Could be because I refuse to let myself sit still for any length of time without trying to conquer some kind of cleaning project. Maybe I should let myself chill tomorrow. Not drive myself as hard. Yeah right. We'll see. Oh yeah! We got the truck back from the shop...now I can make a run to the dump this week.
Things I did today:
Cleaned Study
Got Dressed
Remembered to change the calendar
Worked on the January Cross Stitch Sampler
Made a bunch of origami cranes for the chandelier
Two loads of laundry
Put Emily's laundry away
Avoided the dishes like the plague
Things I'd like to do this week:
Take down the Christmas tree
Tidy the living room
Iron Marshall's shirts
Make a trip to the dump
Clean the downstairs bathroom
Sleep in
Finish making the chandelier
Things that need to go to the dump:
Old entertainment unit
Broken shutter
Dead inflatable mattress
Old full mattress and box spring (which as a child I believed to be pronounced Buckspring)
Trash if there is any
I think I'll need Marshall's help to load the truck tomorrow after he gets home from work.
Now I'm feeling antsy for reasons I don't understand. Could be because I exposed myself to massive amounts of Spray Mount and Spray Paint while trying to figure out how to make an origami chandelier with stuff I already have. Could be because I refuse to let myself sit still for any length of time without trying to conquer some kind of cleaning project. Maybe I should let myself chill tomorrow. Not drive myself as hard. Yeah right. We'll see. Oh yeah! We got the truck back from the shop...now I can make a run to the dump this week.
Things I did today:
Cleaned Study
Got Dressed
Remembered to change the calendar
Worked on the January Cross Stitch Sampler
Made a bunch of origami cranes for the chandelier
Two loads of laundry
Put Emily's laundry away
Avoided the dishes like the plague
Things I'd like to do this week:
Take down the Christmas tree
Tidy the living room
Iron Marshall's shirts
Make a trip to the dump
Clean the downstairs bathroom
Sleep in
Finish making the chandelier
Things that need to go to the dump:
Old entertainment unit
Broken shutter
Dead inflatable mattress
Old full mattress and box spring (which as a child I believed to be pronounced Buckspring)
Trash if there is any
I think I'll need Marshall's help to load the truck tomorrow after he gets home from work.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Home again Home again, jiggity Jig...
to market, to market, to buy a fat pig
Or perhaps, to the in-laws and back with a rather fat and pig-like beagle. We went to visit the in-laws to help with random tech support. I slept for over 12 hours, which I really needed because when I'm home I don't sleep. Instead I run around doing laundry, cleaning, and doing random projects. I used to spend hours playing on Yoville and chatting with "imaginary friends" online. One of my new year resolutions was to not spend so much time online. I'm doing pretty good, but I do miss my imaginary friends. I hope they're doing well.
When we got home I immediately started doing laundry and cleaning up my studio. I can now use it! I'm still working on the sewing room, but I've decided to call it quits until after the Inaugurock party. Marshall installed two new light fixtures in the basement so now it's not quite the death trap it used to be. Go him! Ok, now to get my thoughts together.
Tomorrow is Grace day, I'm going to try to woo her to my house to do crafty things in order to get ready for the party, wish me luck!
Things I want to do for party:
Silver origami crane garland
Gift baggies
Banana cupcakes
Brown sugar poundcake cuppies
Roast beef (crockpot)
Milk punch
Salad?
Brie cheesy thing with fruit
Look up other fun nibblies
Re-arrange furniture for fun Rockband activities
Possibly break out dance dance revolution in the other room?
Things that need to get done to make house presentable:
Clean office!
Dust and vacuum
Tidy up Ex-sewing room
Tidy up guest bedroom
Make Emily tidy up her room
Take down tree
Tidy up "coat room"
Clean up vanity
Clean downstairs bathroom
Groceries
*sigh* I'm so disorganized. All I really want to do is shut myself up in my studio and make stuff. No such luck. Ugh and then, I realized that I'm making a complete shambles of my cross stitch January sampler. I think I don't know how to count. That's not so good when you're doing counted cross stitch. It looks ok when you just give it a cursory glance, but when you really give it the hairy eyeball and compare it to the chart...not so much. I'm off here and there by a few stitches. Too late to pick the stitches out (trust me, when I do catch a mistake, I do just that). I'm certainly not going to give up on it either, I'm almost half way through. I'm just going to brazen it out.
Oh yeah...here's a thought. Why is it that everyone (ok, not EVERYONE) is soooo very good at selling their stuff on etsy and I can't sell anything? What am I doing wrong? Perhaps I should rephrase. What was I doing wrong? I listed a whole mess of stuff, but I got no love. Maybe the stuff I make isn't so good. Maybe I'm just not meant to make money off the stuff I make. It's quite a blow to the ego though. People make such a fuss over the stuff I make when I wear it or gift it. Why don't they want to buy it? I dunno. I thought I'd accepted the fact that me and making things for money just weren't meant to go together. I lied. I want people to pay me for my stuff. I'm jinxed. I'll try again some other time. Right now, I need to finish what's on my plate.
g'night ya'll.
Or perhaps, to the in-laws and back with a rather fat and pig-like beagle. We went to visit the in-laws to help with random tech support. I slept for over 12 hours, which I really needed because when I'm home I don't sleep. Instead I run around doing laundry, cleaning, and doing random projects. I used to spend hours playing on Yoville and chatting with "imaginary friends" online. One of my new year resolutions was to not spend so much time online. I'm doing pretty good, but I do miss my imaginary friends. I hope they're doing well.
When we got home I immediately started doing laundry and cleaning up my studio. I can now use it! I'm still working on the sewing room, but I've decided to call it quits until after the Inaugurock party. Marshall installed two new light fixtures in the basement so now it's not quite the death trap it used to be. Go him! Ok, now to get my thoughts together.
Tomorrow is Grace day, I'm going to try to woo her to my house to do crafty things in order to get ready for the party, wish me luck!
Things I want to do for party:
Silver origami crane garland
Gift baggies
Banana cupcakes
Brown sugar poundcake cuppies
Roast beef (crockpot)
Milk punch
Salad?
Brie cheesy thing with fruit
Look up other fun nibblies
Re-arrange furniture for fun Rockband activities
Possibly break out dance dance revolution in the other room?
Things that need to get done to make house presentable:
Clean office!
Dust and vacuum
Tidy up Ex-sewing room
Tidy up guest bedroom
Make Emily tidy up her room
Take down tree
Tidy up "coat room"
Clean up vanity
Clean downstairs bathroom
Groceries
*sigh* I'm so disorganized. All I really want to do is shut myself up in my studio and make stuff. No such luck. Ugh and then, I realized that I'm making a complete shambles of my cross stitch January sampler. I think I don't know how to count. That's not so good when you're doing counted cross stitch. It looks ok when you just give it a cursory glance, but when you really give it the hairy eyeball and compare it to the chart...not so much. I'm off here and there by a few stitches. Too late to pick the stitches out (trust me, when I do catch a mistake, I do just that). I'm certainly not going to give up on it either, I'm almost half way through. I'm just going to brazen it out.
Oh yeah...here's a thought. Why is it that everyone (ok, not EVERYONE) is soooo very good at selling their stuff on etsy and I can't sell anything? What am I doing wrong? Perhaps I should rephrase. What was I doing wrong? I listed a whole mess of stuff, but I got no love. Maybe the stuff I make isn't so good. Maybe I'm just not meant to make money off the stuff I make. It's quite a blow to the ego though. People make such a fuss over the stuff I make when I wear it or gift it. Why don't they want to buy it? I dunno. I thought I'd accepted the fact that me and making things for money just weren't meant to go together. I lied. I want people to pay me for my stuff. I'm jinxed. I'll try again some other time. Right now, I need to finish what's on my plate.
g'night ya'll.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Today
I exchanged that oak board for two pine boards, exchanged the brackets for the correct ones, got screws, waxing strips, suet holders, a bird feeder and nail files. Then I came home, put all kinds of holes in my walls, broke a drill bit in the brick wall, put the shelves up and half way tidied up my mess. My best moment had to be when I used the circular saw to cut the shorter board to the perfect length...and I don't have a saw horse. BOOYAH!
My worst moment was breaking the drill bit. I know those shelves are up half assed and you know what? I don't care. They're a stopgap. A temporary thing until the attic is done and I can have a well made studio space. Preferably by someone else, or by me being supervised by someone else. Sure I can build stuff, but I need instructions. The last two tables I made are so wobbly I wouldn't lean on them if my life depended on it. Why? Because they have no cross bar or support. The legs on those things list like a drunken sailor. One day I'll go back and put the thing together the right way. Not today though. Considering that I made the thing to be a display case, it's doing pretty good. Of course that means that tomorrow someone will lean on it and the whole thing will go to hell.
Tomorrow I go to the inlaws. I don't really want to, what I want to do is stay home and finish cleaning my studio and sewing space. But I love my in-laws and it's kind of nice hanging around in their AMAZING home.
Other things I got done today:
Got Dressed
Visited my adopted-cat-to-be at the adoption center
Finally took the twin bed set to Missy's house
Forgot to eat
Got a migrane
Ate something
Took a nap
Remembered to change my Cross Stitch a day calendar (woot! I remembered yesterday too)
Watched part of the 1970's version of Escape From the Planet of the Apes. (wow it was...kitschy)
Watched 2 episodes of Pushing Daisies (LURVE that show)
Waxed my lower legs and underarms (you have no idea how much better I feel, I think I was inspired by EFPA, all those hairy costumes *shudder*)
Today Marshall told me that he really loves to get a rise out of me. He says even he doesn't understand that bizzar compulsion. I wonder if it's my reaction he likes or if it's just the prankster in him. He's not much of a prankster really. Just where family is concerned. Lucky for the both of us, I couldn't find my cell phone earlier, otherwise there could have been a nuclear meltdown when he told me that he'd be going to a movie with the new intern on her last day. Of course that's not at all what he was doing (he was getting the car washed) but like I mentioned, sometimes he says things to get a rise out of me.
It's not that I worry about him hanging around with female co-workers, or even females in general. He's so oblivious to women that should a woman try to pick him up they'd have to go about it with a sledgehammer or possibly a very blatant billboard. He just doesn't get it. What would really get me is him leaving me home alone last minute. That would send me through the roof. I hate it when my routine is disturbed.
Ok, now I'm just blathering. I'm going to bed so I can be bright eyed and bushy tailed for my four hour trip to the in-laws...which I usually sleep through.
Goodnight ya'll
My worst moment was breaking the drill bit. I know those shelves are up half assed and you know what? I don't care. They're a stopgap. A temporary thing until the attic is done and I can have a well made studio space. Preferably by someone else, or by me being supervised by someone else. Sure I can build stuff, but I need instructions. The last two tables I made are so wobbly I wouldn't lean on them if my life depended on it. Why? Because they have no cross bar or support. The legs on those things list like a drunken sailor. One day I'll go back and put the thing together the right way. Not today though. Considering that I made the thing to be a display case, it's doing pretty good. Of course that means that tomorrow someone will lean on it and the whole thing will go to hell.
Tomorrow I go to the inlaws. I don't really want to, what I want to do is stay home and finish cleaning my studio and sewing space. But I love my in-laws and it's kind of nice hanging around in their AMAZING home.
Other things I got done today:
Got Dressed
Visited my adopted-cat-to-be at the adoption center
Finally took the twin bed set to Missy's house
Forgot to eat
Got a migrane
Ate something
Took a nap
Remembered to change my Cross Stitch a day calendar (woot! I remembered yesterday too)
Watched part of the 1970's version of Escape From the Planet of the Apes. (wow it was...kitschy)
Watched 2 episodes of Pushing Daisies (LURVE that show)
Waxed my lower legs and underarms (you have no idea how much better I feel, I think I was inspired by EFPA, all those hairy costumes *shudder*)
Today Marshall told me that he really loves to get a rise out of me. He says even he doesn't understand that bizzar compulsion. I wonder if it's my reaction he likes or if it's just the prankster in him. He's not much of a prankster really. Just where family is concerned. Lucky for the both of us, I couldn't find my cell phone earlier, otherwise there could have been a nuclear meltdown when he told me that he'd be going to a movie with the new intern on her last day. Of course that's not at all what he was doing (he was getting the car washed) but like I mentioned, sometimes he says things to get a rise out of me.
It's not that I worry about him hanging around with female co-workers, or even females in general. He's so oblivious to women that should a woman try to pick him up they'd have to go about it with a sledgehammer or possibly a very blatant billboard. He just doesn't get it. What would really get me is him leaving me home alone last minute. That would send me through the roof. I hate it when my routine is disturbed.
Ok, now I'm just blathering. I'm going to bed so I can be bright eyed and bushy tailed for my four hour trip to the in-laws...which I usually sleep through.
Goodnight ya'll
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Yet more productivity
Today was much more productive than expected, although not in the expected way. My plan was to drop off stuff at Goodwill, go to the hardware store and pick up some supplies to make shelves in my studio and clean up the mess in there and in my new sewing area. I also needed to pick up waxing supplies and a bird feeder. What happened was this...
I made my dropoff, went to the hardware store, got distracted by massive amounts of cool stuff and ideas, picked up the wrong kind of wood for the shelves, picked up too many brackets and the wrong kind of screws, spent too much money and then promptly forgot to get the waxing strips in my rush to get home and start on the shelves.
Once I got started on the shelves I realized I had the wrong screws and said "No Way am I going back out right now" and decided that there HAD to be the right kind of screws somewhere in the tangled mess of hardware in the basement. 4 hours later all of my tools were neatly arranged, screws, nails, plumbing joints, finials and drawer pulls were separated and organized, and half the basement looked tidier. I did find the right screws. Upstairs I went with the right screws, installed the brackets I did have, and mounted the one correct shelf I did have. Now I just need two more planks of wood, 6 more brackets, 12 more screws and more time. Oh yeah, I'm still hairy like a wolf.
To Do Tomorrow:
Return oak plank for 2 pines
Return useless brackets for correct ones
Buy more 3/16 -3/4 drywall screws
Buy waxing strips
Install shelves
Tidy up studio
Not wax
I made my dropoff, went to the hardware store, got distracted by massive amounts of cool stuff and ideas, picked up the wrong kind of wood for the shelves, picked up too many brackets and the wrong kind of screws, spent too much money and then promptly forgot to get the waxing strips in my rush to get home and start on the shelves.
Once I got started on the shelves I realized I had the wrong screws and said "No Way am I going back out right now" and decided that there HAD to be the right kind of screws somewhere in the tangled mess of hardware in the basement. 4 hours later all of my tools were neatly arranged, screws, nails, plumbing joints, finials and drawer pulls were separated and organized, and half the basement looked tidier. I did find the right screws. Upstairs I went with the right screws, installed the brackets I did have, and mounted the one correct shelf I did have. Now I just need two more planks of wood, 6 more brackets, 12 more screws and more time. Oh yeah, I'm still hairy like a wolf.
To Do Tomorrow:
Return oak plank for 2 pines
Return useless brackets for correct ones
Buy more 3/16 -3/4 drywall screws
Buy waxing strips
Install shelves
Tidy up studio
Not wax
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
One Down, 32 to go
One Down, 32 to go
Originally uploaded by The Paper Doll
I'm feeling a bit frustrated and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I need to get done. Instead of focusing on what didn't get done today, I think I'll make a list of what I did do.
3 loads of laundry (folded as well)
Got dressed (trust me, that's not always necessary when one stays at home most days)
Finished a pincushion I started about 6 years ago.
Put out food for the birds
Didn't strangle the dog
Took pictures of all the WIPS I could find and uploaded them
Blogged about them
Made dinner
Did some dishes
Compiled a pretty extensive list of WIPs (33)
Got frustrated and overwhelmed by said list
Made the bed
Ironed Vintage apron and put it on my new sewing form (she was nekked, it was embarrassing)
Moved pertinent craft books to their new locations (sewing books to the new sewing nook, needlepoint/ needle craft books downstairs to needlepoint nook)
Moved Needlepoint WIPs and supplies to needlenook.
Made said supplies look tidy in their new home
Remembered to change the calendar to reflect proper date
Ate three meals
Allright, before I really start to stretch for accomplishments, I'm satisfied with the ones I've listed. Anything else would be silly.
The 2009 WIP project
The 2009 WIP project
Originally uploaded by The Paper Doll
This is going to be the year I finish what I started. For me, that's no small feat. I bore easily and I'm just as easily inspired. What happens is I get to a certain point in a project, get distracted, and then the project gets lost under a pile of other projects.
I'm not sure what the exact trigger to do this was, but the final nail in the coffin was the fact that Marshall and I are beginning the first of the big renovations on our house. We're putting stairs in to the attic. In order to do this, I have to empty out my sewing room. Not cool. I had just gotten everything nicely organized. The payoff is that I'll be able to move my sewing room upstairs to the attic. More space, maybe more light.
In the meantime, I've had to move my sewing space into the guest room, which required me to move some of the furniture there. During all this moving I stumbled upon quite the pile of unfinished projects. 33 to be precise. I'm going to have to decide which ones to scrap and which ones to continue and at this rate, if I finish one a week it will take a little over 8 months to finish them all. Wow. Yeah. Maybe I should take some time to prioritize that list. I'm suddenly filled with project dread.
Wish me luck!
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